“Your mommy is doing great. She’s trying so hard,” the well-dressed “sister” told my newborn son as she held him in front of me. I think that might have been the exact moment a deep ache in my soul, held at bay for so long by food, drugs, alcohol and sex, began to work its … read more
Lamaze is amazing for difficult dentist appointments or preventing yourself from punching that arrogant jerk who just won’t get out of your face (in the check out line, not the dentist!), but when you find yourself coming out of an eclamptic seizure in the throws of pitocin-induced contractions, its about as effective as my birth control … read more
The results were positive. “Oh, thank God!” I replied to the nurse on the phone, but she seemed confused. “Ummmm…You do realize that means you’re pregnant, right?” she was somehow able to politely respond. “Oh. I thought you meant positive, like, the results were good.” Thus, my introduction to just how wrong a bunch of … read more