Category: Hope
Half Bald or Half Hairy?
Yesterday my youngest daughter and I went to Tulsa, Oklahoma, the closest “big” city, to shop and for me to sit for the first session of my next tattoo. It was an incredible day with us stumbling upon two unbelievable sales at JC Penney and Ann Taylor Loft. We came away with 13 items for … read more
What is Peace?
After two-plus years of instrospective soul-searching, I think I have determined that my heart and mind are ultimately yearning desperately for peace. At the end of every neural pathway, be it trichotillomania, food addiction, shopping, alcohol, spiritual flagellation, or simple control-freakiness, is a sense of relief, be it ever so momentary, from my fear and anxiety. I often equate “peace” … read more
And then there was JOY
So many wonderful things have happened since I last sat down to write. Its been forever and a day, I know, but its only because I’ve been so busy and, I suppose, content. The 18 month anniversary of the great head-shaving incident is upon us, and amazingly, I am still not pulling out my hair. … read more
183 Days
Close eyes Breathe deeply Relax your neck, shoulders, arms, legs… Ask the question: Why do I want to pull out that hair? Its been six months since I shaved my head, and I find myself becoming more and more aware of the physical need to pull my hair out. When I go too long between … read more
Finding Myself
In the shadow of the low hanging branches, listening to the crunch of a thousand tiny stones under my feet, I feel Him move around me, inside me, throughout my body, mind and spirit. God meets me there, every time, in the cathedral He spoke into existence. There are so many ways God is “found.” … read more
Moonshine May Have Been Involved
After two years of planning, preparing, and procrastinating, the day had arrived to follow through with my terrifying intentions. As always, my trusted friend and artist extraordinaire, Marsha Foster, was at my side, snapping away, asking the hard questions and recording my emotional responses. To a certain extent, it felt as though I was behind … read more
It’s a Jungle In There
I’d all but given up hope on ever overcoming trichotillomania, but as I listened to that man talk about neural pathways and porn, I knew I’d discovered a piece of the puzzle. Rick and I were mentors in a premarital counseling group. We, along with other long-time married folks, were paired up with soon-to-be wed … read more
The In Crowd
On March 20, 2017 I underwent relatively minor surgery to remove a suspicious lump in my left supraclavicular area. By the end of today, I will know if my Google death spiral was right or wrong. How am I supposed to feel as I wait? My husband and I are so incredibly different. He is … read more
The Cemetery Shoot
Every trauma Every mistake Every drama Every disgrace Do I grieve Do I regret Do I forgive Do I forget Can I love Can I recall Can I move beyond my fall What is mine What is me What defines this girl you see Am I still Am I no more Am I dead Am I reborn How … read more