Category: No More Shame on Me
These posts focus on identifying and overcoming feelings of unworthiness in my life.
Half Bald or Half Hairy?
Yesterday my youngest daughter and I went to Tulsa, Oklahoma, the closest “big” city, to shop and for me to sit for the first session of my next tattoo. It was an incredible day with us stumbling upon two unbelievable sales at JC Penney and Ann Taylor Loft. We came away with 13 items for … read more
What is Peace?
After two-plus years of instrospective soul-searching, I think I have determined that my heart and mind are ultimately yearning desperately for peace. At the end of every neural pathway, be it trichotillomania, food addiction, shopping, alcohol, spiritual flagellation, or simple control-freakiness, is a sense of relief, be it ever so momentary, from my fear and anxiety. I often equate “peace” … read more
And then there was JOY
So many wonderful things have happened since I last sat down to write. Its been forever and a day, I know, but its only because I’ve been so busy and, I suppose, content. The 18 month anniversary of the great head-shaving incident is upon us, and amazingly, I am still not pulling out my hair. … read more
The Gallery Reception
It took two doses of Klonopin to get me through that gallery reception. The only thing more terrifying than having my head shaved was standing in the middle of a room surrounded by giant photographs of me having my head shaved The images are beautiful, and if there was another face in those pictures, I’d … read more
183 Days
Close eyes Breathe deeply Relax your neck, shoulders, arms, legs… Ask the question: Why do I want to pull out that hair? Its been six months since I shaved my head, and I find myself becoming more and more aware of the physical need to pull my hair out. When I go too long between … read more
Moonshine May Have Been Involved
After two years of planning, preparing, and procrastinating, the day had arrived to follow through with my terrifying intentions. As always, my trusted friend and artist extraordinaire, Marsha Foster, was at my side, snapping away, asking the hard questions and recording my emotional responses. To a certain extent, it felt as though I was behind … read more
We’d All Be Okay if it Was Chemo
“I secretly kinda hope I have cancer, so I’ll have a socially acceptable reason to shave my head.” I actually said those words out loud last week while waiting for the pathology report to return from my lymph node surgery. Seriously? I would rather have cancer than trichotillomania. What. The. Hell???????!!!!!!!!! I have known some … read more
I am NOT a Dog, I’m a Daughter of the King!
Every Tuesday evening I would ride the Metro to the end of the orange line where the pastor’s oldest daughter would pick me up and drive me out to the their home. I would join them for dinner then spend a couple of hours discussing Scripture and doctrine with my father’s pastor. At the end of … read more
Second Hand Hate
I have endured several…I’ll just call them “debates” about whether or not you can love others if you don’t love yourself, and I’ve heard people make some pretty ridiculous arguments in support of both sides of this question. I have spent countless hours listening to messages and reading books about the wretched status of the human … read more