I had to make an impossible decision, and I had no idea how to even begin.

My entire life had been dictated by the actions of others. When I was a child, I was forced to accept the unwanted touch of others, told how to feel about it,  and then threatened into silence.

When I was a teenager, I was told what to believe and how to behave then was emotionally manipulated into accepting it until I “rebelled” by every means of self-destruction possible.

As a young, single mother I was bullied into believing that it was my responsibility to earn back the love and acceptance of my family, my friends and my God.

At this point in my life, I had not once been given the opportunity to make a healthy decision based on my own thoughts, beliefs and feelings, and I discovered this was a most terrifying freedom.

So it was that I found myself sitting in my mother’s living room telling her that I had studied and researched the Bible on my own, and I chose to believe something other than the teachings of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  I knew what this meant.  I was not blindsided by her reaction. No, I knew exactly what was coming, and yet I was completely blown away that she and my step-father would shun me so thoroughly.  Her parting words tore me in two, “I hope he’s worth it.”

You see, not only did God reveal His own love to me, which was more than this girl could ever possibly hope or dream to experience, but He also gave me the sweetest of gifts.

(to be continued)