I have issues. Big, fat, hairy, ones. HAHAHA! “Hairy.” Didn’t even think about that until after I typed it.
But seriously, I have had a 500 pound elephant sitting on my shoulders for 43 years now, and I’ve had enough. I don’t know if publicly airing all of this crap is going to help or not, but I am certain that I need the accountability.
Bottom line: I am a 46 year-old woman who uses an earthly habit – disorder – whatever you want to call it – to try to bring about the peace that only God can provide, and it works about as well as peeing into the wind.
I struggle with an impulse control disorder called Trichotillomania, which is a $14 million-dollar-word for pulling out my hair. Most of us in this sub-culture just call it “trich,” because, well, seven syllable words are dumb.
There are hundreds, maybe even thousands, of sites with information about trich, and I plan to share factual information about this disorder, but for the most part, this site will be where I document my attempt to stop pulling out my hair to “calm my nerves,” and instead turn to my faith for… honestly, I don’t know what for. Figuring that out is part of this process.
Will this work? Dunno. I’ve just gotta give it a go. Replacing Trich with trust is NOT going to be easy, but God hasn’t let me down before, and I don’t think He plans to start anytime soon.
You are brave, strong and the support of your family and friends who loves you so I don’t think you can go wrong with putting anything out there. Many notables are in the same boat so to speak and they came out as well; Naomi Campbell, Victoria Beckham, Fergie, Megan Fox, Charlize Theron, Katy Perry, Justin Timberlake and the list goes on. You said this has gone on for 43 years and it, Trich, starts because of a traumatic event-stress induced. I can understand why you would be stressed now. You have helped plan weddings and financed them-major stress there, #1 son joined the military and returned, daughters married and moved leaving an empty nest and yet another wedding pending. You are working a job that is over taxing that drains the energy right out of you and your brain hasn’t had a chance to rest. If I were you, and I had hair, I would be pulling my hair out too. There is no shame in what you are doing it’s a condition. A condition that can be overcome. But first this condition began many years ago and the root cause is probably where you need to start. Have you gone to a professional for counseling and if so did it help? Terri would say, “keep your chin up, God’s in control and this too will pass.” You are a beautiful person inside and out and you WILL win this battle. My love to you sweet niece. More later!
I have been in and out of different kinds of therapy for years. I do okay for a while, then I just go right back to it. I think I might be in a better place, now. You know, patience and wisdom comes with age. At least that’s what I’m told. I think coming at this from a spiritual and artistic mind set will yield better results. And I’m approaching the point where I think maybe, just maybe, I’ll even be okay with myself if I can’t quit. Maybe I’m okay the way I am?